A Valentine’s Day Special

Dear Subscriber First Name, 

With Valentine’s Day, our minds are on ~love~ (and PS I Still Love You!).

All sorts of love—the kind we share with lovers, with friends, with family, and with ourselves. 

Capitalized upon and usually celebrated as a holiday for romance, we think there’s room to celebrate so much more. 

We’ve heard from listeners who’ve experienced deep love, heartbreak, deceit, and abuse, and have come out on the other side.

We’ve heard from people who are learning and teaching themselves what it really means to take care of themselves, to take agency of their boundaries and happiness.

Below, we’ve shared just some of the anecdotes that moved us. Let us know if they move you too! 

With love,

Helen, Janet, & Mel

Letters from Our Listeners

Notes from all over the world touch on a variety of topics, but perhaps one of the most recurring topics include relationships, and self-love. Reading and listening to your notes helps us as much as you say the podcast helps you—we are inspired by and in awe of your strength.

Below are just some excerpts (initials used to maintain privacy):

On being single - “Enjoy your season of singleness and having a strong foundation and self-love is most important before loving someone else.” - R.L.

On healing - “I had a lot of difficulty to control my anxiety after getting hurt. I was paranoid that it would happen again. I would listen to your podcasts during our fights, post-panic attacks and ultimate lows. It made me realize how much I don’t want my anxiety to win over my life. It made me realize that all the worries of my relationship was in my head and I finally see my boyfriend for the great guy that he is, that truly loves me for me.” - M.A.V.

On friendship - “A friend who I was struggling to connect with recommended me this podcast and after listening to the friendship episodes, I was so inspired that I wrote her an essay length text. Now, we’re closer than ever!” - A.H.

On sharing beyond the highlight reel - “It means a lot to me (and other women) that you are willing to share the "unsexy" parts of your relationship. Relationships aren't always rosy and it's the decisions we make during the challenging times that shape our own character too.” - S.L.

What have you learned from past relationships, dating experiences, or breakups? Let us know in a voicemail or a note!

ABG Picks of the Month

Each month, we share a few of our favorite things!

HELEN

1. Call Your Girlfriend – Every Friday, I look forward to my absolute favorite podcast (outside of ABG ofc). CYG is a podcast from two long-distance besties, and they discuss everything from the ridiculous to the sublime; nuanced, substantive, no-filter convos on feminism, politics, poops (our fave topic lol), and many more. Their “Bad Bosses” eps was one of my recent favorites! I’m also a huge fan of their #shinetheory motto – an “I don’t shine if you don’t shine '' mentality to bring each other up.

2. Ring holder – My sister bought me a personalized ring holder this past Christmas with the letters “P + H” engraved in the middle. It’s one of the most beautiful, thoughtful gifts I’ve ever received, and I think about her everyday – and am thankful that my engagement ring has a proper place to live. It’s a great gift for someone you love, esp. if you’re late on that valentines day gift 😉, linked here!

JANET

1. NYX Professional Makeup Epic Ink Liner in Black - I've been trying to switch my makeup products to vegan, cruelty-free options (side note: products can be cruelty free but not vegan, meaning they do not test on animals but still contain animal material). This eyeliner has been one of my favorites in terms of quality and affordability.

2. Sober Dates - I’ve shared in recent episodes that I’ve returned to full sobriety. I’ve now gone on multiple dates, fully sober, each of which has lasted a couple of hours. Being able to face the discomfort of spending one-on-one time with a stranger without the crutch of a social lubricant has increased my self-confidence. And not to sound dramatic, but being able to engage in meaningful, length, and sober conversation has also reinstated some of my hope in dating (my default state has been jadedness).

MEL

1. The Ordinary Squalane Oil - My skin reacted horribly to a new product (skin was peeling and looking like dried drool lol) & a friend recommended this product. It literally did instant damage control & leaves me looking dewy and extremely hydrated. I just mix in 1 drop with my moisturizer and slap it on before I sleep!

2. The Bachelor - Guilty pleasure at its finest. I got sucked back into the show and really just enjoy the text exchanges I have with my girlfriends around the show. I won’t deny the fact that I thought The Bachelor was attractive, but now I’m entertained commenting/reading tweets on his questionable choices/behaviors.

A Note from Our Writer

Hi! Haemee here, writer/creator of this newsletter. The girls have graciously provided me a space here, too, and I’m so grateful :) 

One of the joys in life is the unexpected way we can reconnect with people from years prior, and connect on the deepest level.

A high school friend lost her partner suddenly a few months ago. Since then, she’s relocated from NYC to LA for the month and we reconnected. By coincidence, she started listening to AsianBossGirl as well.

On a recent Sunday day trip, she shared Krista Suh’s quote from episode 18 that stuck, “Live for your eulogy, not your resume,” which reminded me one of my favorite poems, “The Invitation” by Oriah Mountain Dreamer. Powerful from its first stanza, the poem inquires, “I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.”

In all honesty, I’ve been a bit in the doldrums lately, in need of a renewed sense of adventure. Listening to my friend as she shared her shifted perspective following her love’s passing, and how she actively chooses to do the uncomfortable thing—whether it’s going back to work after loss, relocating cities, picking up krav maga for the first time, traveling, working with a therapist, or being honest with herself and opening up to friends—I remembered that a life well-lived doesn’t just passively happen.

It’s a decision that we get to make each waking moment, each day we’re blessed with another day. The choice is ours.

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📞 Dear ABG 💬

Looking for advice, want to share a story, or have a question you’d like us to address in one of our episodes? Leave us a voicemail at 213.262.8776.