Together, Apart

Hey Subscriber First Name,

What a start to 2020.

COVID-19 has uprooted the lives of so many people around the world, and forced a “new normal” impacting how work, social interactions, daily life, and survival look for each of us. The experiences vary family to family, industry to industry, city to city, country to country. While we feel these upheavals so deeply on a personal level, the shift in global energy is also palpable.

In spite of the heaviness of it all, we’ve seen beautiful acts of humanity, hope, and creativity: virtual birthday parties, people doing contactless groceries deliveries for friends and family, families learning dance routines together, virtual drink & draws and exercise classes, and concerted effort to support small businesses.

We’re all in this together.

In this special off-season episode, we unpack how COVID-19 has affected our realities and perspectives, our thoughts on the increased hate crimes against Asians, and how we’ve tried to maintain gratitude and a sense of normalcy. Wherever you’re listening in, we hope this episode offers you company, solace, or fodder for your next video call.

A special thank you to all frontline workers, including any who listen to AsianBossGirl. We recognize that showing up for work right now bears not just the weight of keeping your job, but also the risk of illness, and society’s dependence. So whether you’re fighting for people’s lives in healthcare, sustaining our bellies and supplementing our health at groceries, convenience stores and drug stores, or literally keeping things moving with public transit and the postal service—we’re thinking of you and your families.

Wishing you health, safety, and strength,

Helen, Janet, & Mel

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The Little Things

In light of the changes we’re experiencing, and in spite of the uneasy feeling that accompanies uncertainty, we’re taking a moment to appreciate the small things.

Helen Wu, AsianBossGirl

2 Things That Made Me Smile

Having family here in LA: I talk about this on the latest episode of ABG. Exchanging necessities with my aunt—me bringing her toilet paper, veggies, single-use gloves, and her handing me a bag of Clorox wipes, homemade soup, and lemons, was such a mixed-bag Asian-y way of saying, “I care about you so, so much.” It warmed my heart. 

QT with the QT: Quality time is so important in a relationship. Philip and I have been watching shows and playing video games until 5 in the morning (not everyday, but some days :)). We’ve NEVER done that before, and I’m thankful we can find this time to kick some min 2-star Overcooked butt!  

I Won’t Take for Granted Again…

The feeling of safety and security: Despite feeling as if the walls of my home are beginning to cave in on me, I’ve become increasingly paralyzed by the thought of going outdoors—not only because of COVID, but because of the potential of becoming targeted. I think about other marginalized groups or even undocumented peoples and how ‘in quarantine’ they’ve lived their whole lives. And how Asian Americans in modern day are now getting a taste of this life. It’s been a humbling experience, to say the least. Take care of each other out there.

Janet Wang, AsianBossGirl

2 Things That Made Me Smile

Video Chats: With the spike in popularity of video chats, I've been able to stay connected to people I used to see almost daily, but I've also been reconnecting with people I used to see less frequently because it was hard to coordinate in-person hangouts. From ABG daily chats, happy hour / game night weekly hangouts, one-on-one face-times that used to be phone calls or g-chats, and even sessions with old high school friends + their kidlets, these sessions have been critical in keeping me sane :) 

Front Desk + Grocery Workers: My building has taken so many extra efforts and precautions to keep me and my neighbors safe. I've noticed the same care when grocery shopping at Trader Joe's. All the many extra steps to sanitize and create new tedious systems and processes, not to mention risking their own health by showing up to work, is incredible. Anytime I have interacted with them, I've only been met with patience and kindness, which really helps put me at ease now that running basic errands feel potentially threatening.

I Won't Take for Granted Again…

Visiting My Parents + Lake Jogs: I'm used to visiting my parents almost weekly, so it's been challenging not being able to see them. We aren't really a phone call or texting family, so my visits with them are very precious. These trips also serve as a mini-getaway from LA and I miss being able to escape through a jog around the lake (it's man-made and I used to make fun of that fact, but I will never fore-sake it again!).

Melody Cheng, AsianBossGirl

2 Things That Made Me Smile

Baby Videos+ Pictures:  I definitely don’t have baby fever, but I can feel myself having an itch lol. In our ABG FB chat, we always share cute baby videos or photos! Whether it’s Helen’s niece or nephew or a friends’ baby, it automatically adds a smile to my face. There is just something about a squishy baby and their purity <3  

Bretman Rock: I’m a huge believer that laughter is one of the best medicines. I don’t know how I’m so late to this, but I recently stumbled on Bretman Rock’s Instagram and laughed straight for an hour. His carefree and #bossbitch attitude do it for me & can definitely lighten my mood. 

I Won't Take for Granted Again…

A Friend’s Dinner or Gathering: As much as I love how technology is able to bring us together despite what’s going on, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss being in a room with a group of my closest friends. I totally miss those intimate dinners or those random nights out in the city. I think I mostly miss those hello hugs + conversations over a glass of wine (which sometimes end up being a night out lol). 

Team ABG on the Little Things

We’d like to introduce you to our team, and share some of their highlights!

2 Things That Made Me Smile

My best friend got us matching necklaces.

Some friends surprised me with a bag of goodies that would be helpful for the self-quarantined life. 

I Won't Take for Granted Again…

Going out to dinner with friends.

A Few Things That Made Me Smile

It's funny, I wanna write more than 2 things, because at this time, everything that gives me a smile or makes me laugh is so precious.

Bopomofo (BPMF) started giving out free drinks in exchange for donations for medical masks. There were some people who donated and but still wanted to pay for their drink to support BPMF too. That was really sweet of them.

I made my first ever TikTok video for WongFu, and I had to write and record a song with Taylor. The recording process gave me some of the biggest laughs I've had in awhile. It's funny, the ridiculous things safer at home is leading many people to do, including making TikToks.

Helen and I started playing Overcooked 2. I haven't really gotten deep into playing a video game and beating one in maybe a decade. I know it sounds lame but, when we get those 3 stars together.. I feel really proud of us, lol.

I Won't Take for Granted Again…

BASKETBALL, playing and watching. omg, I miss the NBA so much.

Traveling. There were a lot of trips we had planned for this year, time spent with friends and family. I sorta feel like it'll be awhile before we feel totally safe. So I look forward to a time when we can travel with peace of mind.

2 Things That Made Me Smile

I get an inside/feel-good smile when I'm able to offer a good deed to an elderly person (or it can be any person) while waiting for something in public. Either at the hair salon, or at the DMV, or on bus. Or holding a door for someone, or when you're grabbing a shopping cart, and you give one to another person as a gesture of goodwill. 

I used to travel a lot for work, and enjoyed offering people to get their luggage up in the bins. I don't think that would go well now.

I Won't Take for Granted Again…

Normalcy. What I really miss right now, is a sense of normalcy, like my routines: Going to the gym with no worries; having places to go everyday, like work; my commute from home from work, which normally would just be normal traffic.

We spend so much time complaining about our jobs and daily, mundane activities. Suddenly, those are the first things we miss once they are out of reach. I miss being able to walk up to friends and family and reach out for a hug without thinking twice about it. I would give anything to be able to celebrate friends' birthdays, and not be concerned that us being together is a danger.

Miss being able to swing by the grocery store and pick out whatever I want to make for dinner tonight. I wish that I could go run errands right now without being unsure of the potential craziness I could be faced with due to my race, or current state of affairs.

2 Things That Made Me Smile

My best friend’s care package. Karen sent a package to LA from Florida, filled with things she knew I like or need: rice (essential!), kimchi (how?!), roasted seaweed, peanut M&Ms, Oreo thins (the best kind), Advil, and more. Opening it with her over FaceTime and her laughing at my reactions (crying) was such a beautiful moment.

Cooking at home. When I cook at home, I think about my mom. Every Korean dish I cook, I’m trying to recreate a piece of home, and it’s a process I really enjoy. I’ve also taken to trying to grow scallions at home; it’s fairly easy! Here’s a how-to via Vanessa Hong.

I Won't Take for Granted Again…

Hugging my friends; human touch. I think I’ll be hugging my loved ones a little bit tighter moving forward. and the kiss of the sun and being in nature. I step outside my apartment so infrequently lately, and look forward to the day we can go to the beach, on hikes, and on leisurely walks worry-free again.

A Note from Our Editor

Hi everyone,

Hope this latest issue finds you full-bellied and healthy. When we first discussed this newsletter, the girls asked me to share my perspective on the corporate environment during this pandemic. Little did we know, I’d be laid off within a few hours of that initial conversation, along with 30% of my company.

The business was hurting, and all around the country, layoffs, furloughs, and pay cuts were (and are) increasingly common. While the layoff stung a bit and upended my immediate plans, understanding that it had nothing to do with the quality or value of my work has been key to acceptance, and not brooding.

This experience and living during COVID-19 have had two profound effects for me: a heightened self-awareness, and very clear priorities.

In response to the uncertainty of well, everything, I’ve felt the persistent tightness of anxiety in my chest. Perhaps you feel it, too? Yet, despite the myriad of worrisome news and thoughts I encounter throughout the day, the light in my life remains the health of my family and friends, and my own. Everything else, while valid, pales in comparison to the vibrancy of their existence.

In addition to this shift in perspective, I wanted to share with you some of my daily practices, in hopes that they might help someone, too:

Morning pages: each morning, I free write to get off my mind and onto paper whatever is occupying headspace, and feel lighter after.

Meditation/breathing exercises help me return to center.

Gratitude can get me through even the shittiest of days. These days, I often give thanks for waking up healthy, video calls with my parents, a full stomach, and my simple morning routine of letting the sun into my apartment, meditating, writing, and making coffee.

Prayer: Placing trust in an entity bigger than myself to oversee the things beyond my control (like the health and safety of my family in New York City, the current epicenter) feels good.

Therapy: Though I’ve lost my full-time employment, continuing to invest in my mental health is extremely important. It’s so helpful to process with a trained professional. If you’re having financial difficulties, try asking your therapist about a sliding scale. Also, BetterHelp is offering ABG listeners 10% off the first month.

Whatever your “new normal” looks like these days, I hope that in reading this issue, you feel at your core that you’re not alone. I hope that even when things start to feel impossible, you choose to keep your face to the rising sun, make space for your feelings, be kind to strangers, and continue to check in with those dearest to you. Truly, we are all in this together.

With Love,
Haemee

Featured

SPOTLIGHT: OUR PARTNERS

Between social distancing and daily shifts, there’s a lot to process. We’re proud to partner with BetterHelp, a resource for affordable, private online counseling. Sign up now for 10% off of the first month.

Grocery runs are not as simple as they used to be. For nutritious, plant-based meals ready in minutes, check out Daily Harvest. Use code “ABG” for $25 off of your first order.

Now’s an excellent time to start on that reading list you made six months ago. Too busy deep-cleaning your fridge? No problem, with Audible you can keep your hands free and finish a book! And for 30 days, you can listen for free.

Take a break from BoJack Horseman and Tiger King to stimulate other parts of your brain with Skillshare. Free for the first two months, you can learn new skills or hone existing ones, and emerge from quarantine a Renaissance (wo)man.

Not seeing the light of day as often? Make sure to at least take your vitamins. Our friends at Ritual can help you stay a healthy human.

Let’s talk business

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📞 Dear ABG 💬

Looking for advice, want to share a story, or have a question you’d like us to address in one of our episodes? Leave us a voicemail at 213.262.8776.